Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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