I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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