Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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