It was confusing and full of hummus
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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