im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
