Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
