I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
