I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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