i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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