Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I got inside last night via doggy door
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
