Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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