No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
