So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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