We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
