im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
50% drunk capacity currently
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
