I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
