Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
