She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
