You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
