look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
