his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
