yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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