is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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