I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
