she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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