i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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