we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
