I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
