Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
