dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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