nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
