It's like God shit irony all over that family
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
