Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
