fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
