Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
