I can text with my tongue
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
