He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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