I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
