but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
