508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
