69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
farters have to be the big spoon...
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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