you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
