And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
