have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
