The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
