i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
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