Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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