I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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