I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize