I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
