i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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