Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
