So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize