is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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