do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
