I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
