My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
