but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
