Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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