"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
