Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
